When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving advice
you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way
you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I asked, was that you listen
not to talk or do – just hear me.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do
for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel
no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you
and get about the business of understanding what’s behind this
irrational feeling.
And when that’s clear the answers are obvious
and I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we
understand what’s behind them.
So, please listen and just hear me,
And, if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn;
and I’ll listen to you.
