When I ask you to listen to me

and you start giving advice

you have not done what I asked.

 

When I ask you to listen to me

and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way

you are trampling on my feelings.

 

When I ask you to listen to me

and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems

you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

 

Listen! All I asked, was that you listen

not to talk or do – just hear me.

 

When you do something for me that I can and need to do

for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.

 

But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel

no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you

and get about the business of understanding what’s behind this

irrational feeling.

 

And when that’s clear the answers are obvious

and I don’t need advice.

 

Irrational feelings make sense when we

understand what’s behind them.

 

So, please listen and just hear me,

And, if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn;

and I’ll listen to you.